and I do
yes, somehow
I can still laugh
and it rings out mean
here
among the stones and stars
there is an edge to it
something savage and
obscene
like a wood chipper
chewing on panes
of stained glass
I try to trap it in my throat
and sometimes do
and sometimes don’t
sometimes there is no helping it,
it climbs those rattling chains
it frightens the people and
most other animals
I tried to paint it,
my terrible laughter
the girl I gave the canvas to
just cried
and cried
I know
that is not very
funny
but it
almost
is.