I have been
called
many things
a bastard
lunatic
mutant
devious Jesus
liar
criminal
fuckup
screwball punk
but the best was
one time
walking in late to a lecture
on the first day of class
the professor stopped and said,
“Mr. Rosewater
what a surprise
it is to see you
and on the first day of class, too.”
(they always thought
I was playing hooky.
they never knew
and they never will.)
I smiled wide like a whale
and bid her good morning
as she said to the class
(here it comes)
“Class, I would like to
introduce you to
The Iconoclast,”
and I made my way
grinning
hideously
to the back of the room
to the only empty seat
and sat down
regally
a ragged king
on his plastic throne.
the ones who didn’t know
weren’t sure what to think
but the ones who knew
were dripping fear.
they just waited
all nerves
as I sat there
smoldering
patiently
winding up
my wrecking ball.
(Originally published in The Perch)