Uncategorized

I am forever remembering
all of the things I want to
forget.

i find my head
is turning
west
much more
than it used to

to share with me there in that bed a part of forever all that time swallows you said the moments devour themselves well i said i have been taking lessons in disappearing i know the trick of falling off the face of the Earth like sailors did once in a time before we recognized what and where and who were we to unbind the stars dull meaning poor explanations all the quaint ideas and unreasoning reasons that slept inside the hearts of men?
you see i have plied that ancient trade studied well the ways of willful ignorance and arrogant conceit but lets get married i said every day of my life spread out like a banquet of paltry meals poor dishes and so many bones consummate our love with a more perfect union of dunces that is the state we’ve come to know now you said i remember.
and i rode again with a face drained of color and empty eyes and empty stomach on the back of our nightmare to write your name across the sky with the oozing fluid of my memory and as i saw my reflection it struck me: it looks like i am dying much faster than i should be.

I am a dusty room
full of broken windows and
footsteps

You said
that I must be drinking
to try to ease
the pain.

I guess you were half
right.

By which I mean
drinking
never really eased
the pain
for me.

It only fucked up
my vocabulary.

It killed all the decorative words
that I had
for the ache.

It took it from
describable

and made it dull,
general
and unspeakable.

It became
a faceless, mysterious thing
brandishing a knife
vaguely made out of
her name.




Originally published in deluge.