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Our Lousy Art

a heap of things underwhelming

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Composing

September 5, 2018 by Neal

 

the words
like tears
rarely come.
they cannot be beckoned
or summoned forth,
but the people
do not understand.
they find me
they sit me down
they say, speak!
i want to hear
your words.

most often
i am quiet –
the words are just
not there.

and the people become
irate,
incredulous;
their hearts flood
with soft murder.

they say,
you are supposed to be
a writer
an artist
a poet
( i am none
of these things
but
the people believe
what they want
to believe ).
well, i think
you are just
an idiot!

and i think
they are right.

mercy,
miracles,
illumination:
these are the things
they want
from me.

they want
precisely
what is not
mine
to give.

 

 

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Accident

August 29, 2018 by Neal

 

your name was still fresh
and sweet
in my mouth

the newness of it
tickled my tongue
as it slipped through my crooked teeth
and fell
onto the dirty floor

along with your dress
and my shame

 

 

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Walls

August 18, 2018 by Neal

 

She said
that is such an ugly
prison
you have built
around your heart.

I said
yeah
but you should see it
from inside –

I have painted
the walls
with clowns.

 

 

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Wastes

August 17, 2018 by Neal

 

If I manage to find the pieces
we lost along the way,
having turned back now,
roaming the wastelands of our yesterdays,
would it be okay if I salvaged
the questionable parts of you,
the pieces you discarded
to rust and rot with time?

I am starting to think they fit me
better than my parts
ever did.

 

 

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Peace by piece

August 11, 2018 by Neal

i have gotten good at
picking myself apart

i disassemble my body
piece by piece

i haul the walls down
shake out the gathered dust
the memories
the heartache

and after examining and cataloging
what is there
or no longer there
i try to put the pieces back
together

but i lost the directions
long ago

and inevitably there are parts
left out
left over
or just plain mishandled
and broken

there is a little bit
less of me
each time

pretty soon
i will be
just like
them

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