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They walk
They talk
They drink
and eat
and eat

They move
arms
legs
mouths
feet

They wag their tongues
like tails

They give
and take
but mostly take

They make demands
They bark out orders

They capitulate

Each one of them acting
exactly
the same

They insist
that they are
just
like me

but
I still have
my doubts

 

 

 

I danced haphazardly over bridges aflame, upturned pales of
gasoline and bad intentions swinging wild from blazing arms.

The postcard came months later, all your mistakes extrapolated in ink,
smudged wet with misery and the effortless leaking of time time time.

You scrawled out drunk epiphanies that night in the rain when
the bars closed and the sidewalks tired of our happy dancing feet,
our constant – no, our endless – posturing, they ushered us to strange beds,
too uncomfortable to sleep in – beds not built for sleeping in at all!

And I hung portraits of your hungry face all over the walls of my skull,
composed whimsically with the runny pastel watercolors of my youth and
smeared over the repurposed canvases of bad memories that littered the floor...

Drunk and intolerable, I can barely make them out anymore.

Alone, and admittedly a bit touched,
I raise a toast to the ghost of us then --

me: smiling, awkward;
you: still, enchanting,
spitting out my love like so many watermelon seeds.

 

I found my soul last night.  We had gotten mixed up, separated somewhere in Brussels, I think, a few months back. I leveled some pretty serious accusations at him, out there in that biting wind. He just shrugged it off, and admonished me for all the things I hadn’t done on my own. There wasn’t much for me to say about that – we both knew he was right.

I began to ask him some pretty big questions, and relate the old familiar worries that had been nagging at me, chewing wild and eager on the corners of my mind.

As we sat there under the glittering sky, watching Perseus fall apart, he didn’t say much of anything at all.  I mean, I guess we’re back together, but not really on speaking terms.

 

This is for anyone
who got into a bar fight with life recently

who walked on eggshells or thin ice
      or through fire
      so someone else wouldn’t have to
who did something grossly unreasonable
      or irresponsible
      and liked it
      and will do it again
who gave more than they received
who always will
      because they never learned how not to
who loved or tried to love
      as though the world depended on it
      (it does)
who felt more alive than dead
      and wasn’t ashamed to show it
who danced in the rain
      or cried in a closet
      or went mad in an attic
who realized there is no such thing as defeat
      or victory
      only the sweet sugar of struggle
      only the joy of perseverance
who skipped work or school or dates
      to sit somewhere listening to birds
who never needed an excuse or a reason
      to stand naked in the moonlight
who camped shivering on a mountainside for two weeks
      to watch a forest become a rainbow
who went to the ocean drowning in tears
      to come back cleansed and remade
      their skin full of saltwater and sunshine
who wandered under canopies of skyscrapers
      when trees were hard to come by
      and ended up better for it
who chased each glimmering moment with a butterfly net
      and bottled their laughter in mason jars
who slept on a bench
      or low in a ditch
      or anywhere
      just to be under the stars
who was more present than past or future
      and will always strive to be
who made it this far
who still feels ready to go further

this is for you and you and
     you

I just wanted to tell you
     that I love you
     more than you will ever know

that I hope you never stop being
     beautiful you